If It's Not Broken
by Kachanski
Summary: Jack has a plan to make the team more healthy. This really doesn't go down well, in fact it comes back up again rather messily for some, while others find it an unexpected windfall.


**Well...My first ever Torchwood Fic! I discovered it just in time for the third series, (which is good timing) and am in love with it, so I thought I'd give it a go. ^_^ I hope you enjoy!**

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The expression on Ianto's face as he walked into the boardroom warned them that whatever it was that Jack wanted to announce, they weren't going to like it, but the young man kept his lips firmly sealed to their questions, masterfully vague at some and simply downright refusing to answer others.

So it was with no small amount of anticipation that the Torchwood team waited for their leader to make his appearance, which he did eventually, looking serious.

"We have to stop eating takeaways." At their shocked expressions he continued. "We eat too much junk food, its not healthy and I need you all fit as possible."

It was Gwen who spoke first. "But we all spend half our day running after aliens, so surely that makes up for it?"

Jack shook his head. "Not in the slightest. I have noticed that recently some of us have been putting on a little weight." Only the ever observant Owen noticed Jacks brief glance in the direction of Ianto (who didn't look best pleased) and he smirked as he thought of how this would have come to the older man's notice. Jack continued. "So I think we should start eating proper food."

Owen frowned. "How exactly do you expect this food to appear? In case you hadn't noticed we are all pretty busy."

Jack eyed him carefully. "I'm sure we can all find some time to make a meal occasionally. No one's expecting a banquet." Neither Owen nor Gwen looked convinced, and Ianto, who had already been through all the arguments with Jack just looked bored, but Tosh smiled.

"I think its an excellent idea. It would be nice to see what everyone can do." She looked at each of them hopefully.

Owen gave her a sympathetic look. "Ahh, Tosh, ever the optimist. If you like the idea so much then why don't you start first, I'm starving." With that he rose and stalked out, leaving a crestfallen looking Tosh behind.

In an attempt to make up for the caustic man's comments Gwen smiled encouragingly at the Japanese woman. "I'd like to try some of your food. Jack does have a bit of a point, Chinese and Pizza can get a bit boring." Beside her Ianto nodded, seeing how downhearted the woman looked and Jack clapped his hands together enthusiastically.

"Brilliant! Can't wait Tosh. Now, Ianto, how about some coffee?"

A Few Days Later...

"Well," commented Ianto, watching as Owen and Gwen lurched out of the toilets looking rather green. "That was educational."

Beside him Jack nodded, looking thoughtful. "Where's Tosh?" he called when Gwen was in earshot.

She looked at him pathetically and groaned "Still in there." before stumbling to the sofa and sitting heavily, clutching her stomach.

Jack grinned, despite the discomfort of his team mates and turned to the young man beside him. "So, what do you think did it?"

Ianto looked thoughtful for a moment. "The chicken sandwiches." He said finally, to Jacks surprise.

"Tosh's sandwiches? Why?"

Ianto smiled slightly. "Because I cant actually remember ever buying mayonnaise for as long as I've been here."

Despite himself Jack laughed at the other's dry tone. That clinched it, mayonnaise that old would be certain to give anyone an upset stomach. He looked at his companion quizzically. "But you had those too."

"Nope" Ianto shook his head. "I was going to but I forgot. Was interrupted by a rift alert." It was fortuitous, the Welshman had to conclude as he watched the others. With a sigh he looked about him. "Back to pizza I suppose then, although I'm not sure those three will be wanting any"

Jack grinned broadly and wrapped his arm around Ianto's waist, pulling him surreptitiously closer. "Excellent. Just the two of us and some pizza, should be fun."

The young man smiled dryly, his mind going over the possibilities. If Jack was involved, there were an awful lot. "I'll go and order then shall I?"

Jack released him, still smiling broadly. "You do that." He strode away, towards his still green looking colleagues. "Go home!" he called. "You're too sick to do anything. Me and Ianto'll keep the fort."

Mixed expressions of relief and pain crossed the other's faces and they gratefully stood and gathered up their things, although as Owen passed he managed to mutter something only half coherent about half assed ideas and 'holding the fort' with Ianto being the same as 'Weevil hunting' with Ianto, to which Jack just grinned suggestively and gave him a helping shove out of the door.

When they were all gone Jack looked around, finding Ianto in his office, using the phone. "How long till it arrives?"

"About half an hour"

Eyeing Ianto, Jack sauntered closer. "Not long then. Hows about we work up our appetite before it comes?"

Jack was awarded with another dry, knowing smile. "Sounds like a plan. We wouldn't want it to go to waste."

Owen had been wrong. 'Holding down the fort' was much more fun than 'Weevil hunting' and lasted longer too, the others being sick for a good three days. Jack even briefly contemplated salvaging some of the mayonnaise for future use until Ianto caught on and made sure that it was disposed of before he could get his hands on it. Fun it might have been, but that was no reason to be cruel to the others, it was Jacks idea that had caused the problem in the first place.

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**I'd love to hear what you think of my first try! *Hint Hint* ^_^**


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